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Inexpert Review: Economic Support for Becoming a Call Girl

shawn — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 12:51:20 +0000

“Levitt and Dubner’s SuperFreakonomics: Rather than a Sequel to the Original and Uncanny Economic Stories We Presented in Freakonomics, We’ve Created a Dry Scientific Journal of What Other Economists are Doing and How They’re Passing It Off as Pop Psychology. Also, We’ve Included a Bonus Guide on How to Start Your Own Business as a High Paid Escort Including Suggested Services and Hourly Rates.”

The full title is very long, but funny in a “pick it up off the shelf and show your friend to get a laugh” marketable way. SuperFreakonomics: Global Cooling, Patriotic Prostitutes, and Why Suicide Bombers Should Buy Life Insurance by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner.

Levitt, the economist and presumably “the source” for the material again pairs up with Dubner, the storyteller, to rekindle the magic they made together four years before with Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. I loved Freakonomics. It was, in so many ways, the right book at the right time. Like lightning striking, many factors came together to create the perfect conditions for a dramatic effect. Freakonomics published on the heels of Gladwell’s counter-intuitive bestseller, Blink, into a general resurgence of interest in pop psychology and pseudo-educational non-fiction.

Levitt and Dubner grabbed some literary headlines with their sensational, statistically-based assertions, including the deliberate counter-argument to Gladwell’s explanation of decreased crime covered in The Tipping Point. They had a lot of fun, fresh and surprising discoveries that were shared in a punchy and “radio-friendly” way that is a tribute to Dubner’s writing ability—he was able to convert Umberto Eco into Dan Brown. The masses could enjoy Freakonomics.

But like the old adage about lightning striking, Superfreakonomics is a miss.

UNLESS you are looking for financial data to support your transition from your current career into the thriving industry of High-Paid Escort Service Providers. In which case, the first 55 pages are a “must read.” In these pages, a world-renowned economist will explain to you that prostitution is not about buying sex, but really about limited suppliers seeking to satisfy a decreasing demand for a price inelastic service. It is virtually a cut-and-paste business proposal for you to take your Brothel plan to the investors for your A round.

If you have the time and interest to learn more about effectively selling yourself on the street at an hourly rate, this book is for you. If this does not currently align with your career goals, borrow it and read chapter 5 about global cooling, as this will be the water-cooler topic sometime in the near future where you can impress your friends.

My rating for the book is 20,000 otherwise stable housewives turned drug addicted prostitutes because of inalterable economic incentives out of a possible 50,000 otherwise stable housewives turned drug addicted prostitutes because of inalterable economic incentives.

Also, in my extensive research for this blog (i.e.- “reading wikipedia“), I learned they are making a film adaptation of the first book. This will be bad. I look forward to writing another Inexpert Review in the future, apparently sometime around August 2010.

Go See Benjamin Button, Unless…

shawn — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 03:37:00 +0000

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a great movie to see, unless you feel like you have already seen it. Or have already seen another schmaltzy/romantic time-traveling film like it. Or if you are in the mood for something funny. Or you’re on a date. Or you’re a teenager. Or you’re really old. Or if you’ve recently lost a loved-one. Or if you get emotional over hurricane Katrina footage. Or you’re kind of sleepy. Or you have anything else to do for the next 2 hours and 45 minutes.

I’m not saying I didn’t like it, because I did, I’m just saying that it is not a great movie for everyone to see. Disclaimer Moment: I am a marketer, not a movie critic; for a professional’s opinion, go here. IMO, the demographic for this movie is Middle-Aged Women. You know, the same people that loved The Notebook, The Lake House, or The Bridges of Madison County.

If you’re the kind of person that loves going to movies with the intent to cry through the whole second half, then this is a great movie for you. Or if you like the idea of seeing Cate Blanchett age before your eyes. Or if you love hummingbirds. Or if you are in the Somewhere in Time Fan Club. Or if you believe Brad Pitt is an Oscar-worthy actor.

Now, I’m not ruling out Brad and Cate for Oscars for this one, in fact, they’ll probably get Oscars for it the same way Charlize got one for Monster and Nicole Kidman for The Hours. We all know that getting ugly gets the Academy’s attention. I’m just saying I’ve seen better movies come out this year and I’ve definitely seen better film adaptations of books.

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 24-page original story is here and it is a great story in its own right. However, besides the title and the lead character’s name, it has little in common with Fincher’s film. My wife says it borrows heavily from the 2003 novel The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I haven’t read it, so you’ll have to take her word for it. Or, if you don’t feel like reading it, you could just wait a few month’s and see it in theaters. I just read that Brad Pitt’s production company has picked up the title, which is set to release later this year. I, for one, won’t be going to see it. Unless I decide I’m in the mood for another romantic time travel film.

The Job Search: Lessons from Booksellers

shawn — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:46:00 +0000

What You Can Learn about Job Searching from the Publishing Industry

When you are job searching, it’s easy to get caught up in the process and overlook the big picture. So, let’s look at the way YOU will look to your future employer by examining the old adage

YOU CAN’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

“The bookstore browser averages less than eight seconds looking at the front cover and fifteen seconds reading the back cover. You must hook them immediately and keep them reading the back cover or they will put the book back on the shelf.”

The 5th “P” of marketing is “Packaging.” How’s your Appearance? In our society where book covers are the #1 indicator of book sales, you cannot overlook the importance of your own packaging. A career change is the perfect reason to go out and spend some money on a nice haircut and updated professional clothes. Get a good night’s sleep. Use your free time to exercise and eat well. Just because you’re Job Searching is no reason to LOOK unemployed! If you feel good about your appearance, then others will see that you have poise, confidence, and value.

“Book publishers spend more than $50 billion on product packaging design. $50 billion, not for the products or even for the wrappers, but $50 billion just for the design of the wrapper.”

What is your wrapper? Or what is the first thing that an employer will see about you that will formulate his decision to Buy or Keep Browsing. A key part of your wrapper is your Resume. Update it with all new things. Don’t just add your most recent position; update your skills, recognitions, awards and accomplishments. Add any new groups you’ve joined. No new groups to add? Quick, go out and join a group. I mean, you’ve got some free time right now, huh? Then, add it to your resume. Also, breeze back over the years of experience you’ve had and do some re-write to touch up those tired histories through the lens of your greater life experience. Add or update your value statement and 2 key accomplishments right up at the top under your name and contact info, like the headline of a newspaper:

Extra! Extra!

Here’s why you should read about this guy.

Remember, this is your leave behind, so in most cases, may be the last thing a potential employer sees. Make sure it gets them excited about what you can do for them.

With your packaging covered, it’s time to get started. Create your list of contacts and your list of companies you’re interested in. These are organic lists, which means they WILL keep changing! Each contact has a network that they can lead you to, the goal is to get the names of decision makers, their titles and their business addresses. Then you’re going to write them a letter. Not an email. Write them a letter.

The letter should say:
I’m this guy, I know this person that you also know. I am interested in your company because … (“It is the top performer in the industry”, “It fits my values and interests,” stuff like that. Just communicate that you know the company.) You’d be interested to know that in my past, I have done these things and would like to help your company do these things. Please feel free to reach me by phone or email at your convenience. Or, I will call your office on this day.

Really, write that stuff? Yes. Employers get upwards of 125 emails a day. They read about 20%. They also return about 20% of phone calls. The question you are answering for them is this:

“How Determined are You to Get This Job?”

Ready for the key secret to this process? Make the Call! Writing the letter already set you apart from every other person that just hit “Apply” on monster.com. Now, when you said you would call about 4 days after you send the letter, you MUST pick up the phone and make the call. Call early in the morning (Before 8:30 or 9:30). Call again at lunch time. Call again after work hours. This way you have a better chance of getting someone who is not the professional Gatekeeper. Or perhaps even getting the person you’re looking for! Be prepared to leave a professional message.

“Hi, I’m this guy. I sent you a letter regarding my interest in coming to work for your company. I think you would be excited to hear how I could help (company’s name).”

If you get the gatekeeper, you can simply say: “I’m calling for whoever.” And when they ask what it is regarding, you can say: “I am following up on a correspondence he and I had last week.” Or even, on a good day, “He’s expecting my call.” Sales people use this technique all the time. Warning: don’t make the Gatekeeper think you’re a salesperson!

So When Do I Use Email?
Emailing your resume is your closing tool. It is your leave behind. You did not include it in your first letter, therefore, it is important that after you have talked on the phone to the person and they have requested your resume, that you get their email address. Ask them if they would like you to include references, and then tell them that you will email it to them. And then of course, you follow through with that . –Shawn Butler
http://www.parapublishing.com/files/articles/ArticleAB-202CoversSellBooks.pdf

The World is Still Round…

shawn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 02:24:00 +0000

In spite of Thomas L. Friedman’s best efforts to claim otherwise in his newly revised The World is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century, Release 3.0. Just as in his previous books, Friedman showcases his journalistic forte for information gathering, analysis, and insight-laden extrapolation. He supports well his own previous arguments for free trade, market specialization, and classical economic theories regarding absolute and comparative advantage. (Smith, Ricardo, … Reich)

I’ll pause here to acknowledge that I, too, am a strong proponent of globalization. I have seen first-hand the dissolution of geographic and political barriers to trade and the ensuing benefits to the local economy. I find no fault in Friedman’s historical observations, including his 3 eras of globalization, his 10 flatteners, and even his recommendations for new hybrid fields of study he calls “Mash-Ups.” These ideas are spot-on in our global economy of increasing convergence.

But why all the doom and gloom, Mr. Friedman? Instead of telling your readers how the new “flattened” world will make lives better—spurring the economy of our New America into a greater leadership role as the birthplace of ideas and a nation of entrepreneurs—he focuses on the bad. Friedman follows the M.O. of Lou Dobbs, crying wolf over foreign theft of US jobs and a general disappearance of the American middle-class. Rather than pointing to the strengths of our human capital as inventors, creators, and brand builders, he tells readers that the American sky is falling in competition with Indian and Chinese ITs and engineers.

Friedman leans toward the dramatic, but what do you expect from an Opinion Columnist? He opens with this quote from an Indian software CEO: “The global playing field is being leveled… and the US is not ready.” This is followed by other sensational statements of hyperbole. “Today, people in China and India are starving… for your job!” he warns his children. But then, you are given to flights of the inflammatory if you are to make your living as an op-ed writer. The Title The World is Friendlier to International Business because of Improvements in Technology and Transportation doesn’t sell books.
–Shawn Butler

Latin is Smart People Secret Code

shawn — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 00:28:00 +0000

People who know how to use Latin should. Use of Latin makes you look Smart. However, trying to use words you don’t understand is one of the fastest ways to look Stupid. I have taken the time to compile a list of tips on common Latin terms and phrases and how they should be used. I call it:

“How to Not Look Stupid when You’re Trying to Look Smart”

*Note: This is not a Latin Dictionary. It would be silly to attempt to put all the common words and phrases of Latin that we use into one list. Besides, it’s already been done.

Alumnus: “Nurseling.” A graduate from a school. The trick is when to use Alumnus vs. Alumni. Background: Latin nouns consider not only Number (English’s Singular vs. Plural), but also Gender and Case. Below is an easy-to-use chart that should clear this up for everyone.

So, “Alumnus” is singular masculine. For a girl, you should say “Alumna” pronounced “A-LUM-Nuh.” “Alumni” is plural for a male or mixed group.

If it’s all girls, you could look brilliant by saying “Alumnae,” pronounced “A-LUM-Nay,” but chances are you’ll still look stupid because most listeners will only know enough about this term to think you mispronounced something.

Cum Laude: “With praise.” Indicates exceptional academic standing. This one bothers me for a different reason. The correct pronunciation is this: “Coom LOUD-ay.” However, this word has become part of English vernacular, like burrito and déjà vu. For a lingual Purist, I say go ahead and pronounce this with your best Latin accent, but in the interest of just not looking Stupid while trying to look Smart, the modern vernacular holds this to be said as “Coom Lawd.”

I may as well cover the variations of this here as well:
Magna Cum Laude “With great praise” and
Summa (“SOOM-uh” not “Some-uh”) Cum Laude “With greatest praise.”

Etc. abbreviation for Et cetera: “And the rest.” On this one, I do not follow the decline of modern English vernacular. This is pronounced “Et Set-er-ah,” there is no “Eks” sound.
Also, “Etc.” is used entirely too much. There are three rules for its usage:
1. Do not use “Etc.” if you have already made a full list. Example: “Call me if you have any problems, concerns, issues, etc.” What else is there? More synonyms?
2. Do not use “Etc.” when the rest of the list is unknown. Example: “I enjoy reading, sports, astronomy, etc.” Paleozoology? You know, the Rest of the stuff I enjoy…
2. Do not use “And Etc.” This is redundant as “Et” is the Latin word for “And.” Example: “We are studying Western Europe: France, Spain, Italy, and etc.”
3. Do not use “Etc.” when referring to people. For this purpose, use Et Al.

Et Al. abbreviation for Et Alia: “And Others.” For More on How Not To Look Stupid Using This One, See Previous Blog.

E.g. abbreviation for Exempli Gratia: “For Example.” For More on How Not To Look Stupid Using This One, See Previous Blog.

I.e. abbreviation for Id Est: “That Is.” For More on How Not To Look Stupid Using This One, See Previous Blog.

Ibid. abbreviation for Ibidem: “In the same place.” Pronounced “ib-EED-em.” This is a time saver, usually seen in academic writing when an author is citing passages from the same source. It is a Smart way of saying, “I already gave you this info.” To avoid looking stupid, again we must be careful not to use words we don’t know the meaning of, e.g.- “I have collected some great quotes from Plato, Cicero, Ibid, and Anon.”

M.O. abbreviation for Modus Operandi: “Mode of Operation” Pronounced “MODE-us op-ehr-ON-dee,” there is no “die” at the end, no matter what you heard on C.S.I. It refers to the particular method that characterizes a person.

Per se: “In and of itself.” Pronounced “per say” but spelled “per se.” The spelling is key! For More on How Not To Look Stupid Using This One, See Previous Blog.

Sic: “Thus.” This means “intentionally so written;” in other words, the editor or author knew they were misspelling something or using slang or bad grammar in an otherwise formal document.

Vice Versa: “The other way around.” Again, the correct pronunciation is this: “vee-kay ver-suh.” However, one will sound Stupider by trying to sound Smart. This has fallen into common usage and is typically pronounced as it is spelled. I often hear imbeciles thinking they sound Smart with strange pronunciations like “Visa Versa” or “Vee-say Ver-say.” Unfortunately, the answer is that they are still wrong.

–Shawn Butler

Subliminal Marketing Revealed!

shawn — Fri, 04 May 2007 18:23:00 +0000

Is this guy for real?!?!? In the small business consulting “biz” and particularly in the restaurant industry, one gets onto some interesting mailing lists, but here’s something I’ve never seen:

Now, Marketers are not always giving us a straight-forward sell– we all get that –but subliminal sales triggers? This might be just TOO MUCH. So when my BS detector started going crazy, I did a little research into this guy… and couldn’t find much at all.

And that’s what bothered me. The guy’s name is Kamron Karington, no clues there except that he has Utah roots; that state is famous for creative name mispellings. The 6 google returns for his website (click pic) and the 556 on his name search yielded unreliable results, most of them were his own or affiliated pages. He DID buy a full-page ad in Fast Casual‘s Apr/May Issue [What, you don't read Fast Casual magazine? ] And I read the whole thing through. I was also seduced into reading this questionable source and his homepage here.

I call it questionable because the voice is similar to the copy on his homepage, convincing me that at least both endorsements came form the same author, if not the whole page. And I think the reason I am so interested in this is not that I am skeptical, but maybe that I really want this to be true. BECAUSE IF IT IS…

SB Marketing consulting just got a LOT easier, I simply have to get this guy’s info [which is free, if you believe what you read] and then find clients willing to pay me to slowly recite Mr. Karington’s Black Book of Guaranteed Subliminal Sales Secrets to them for two-hundred and forty dollars an hour…

It’s almost too easy. I would be interested to hear from anyone on the success of the tactics espoused by Kamron’s program. Anyone NOT affiliated with his company, that is. –Shawn Butler

Completely Necessary List of Books to be a Literate Member of Society

shawn — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 18:40:00 +0000

I was asked by a friend to compile a list of the books that were important for him to read in order to be a Literate and Contributing member of modern culture.
This is my first attempt — The main criteria for this list was to cover the books that are referenced either directly or in allusion in the literary community. For obvious reasons, that turned out to include all the “staple” books that are required reading for middle school and high school students.
NOTE: This is not a listing of “great books,” or even “good books,” and not a list of my favorite books, which would be MUCH different. This list is designed to guide young readers in their desire to cover the [quote, unquote] literary basics.

In alphabetical order by the first non-“the” in the book title.

1984–George Orwell (Eric Arthur Blair)
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer–Mark Twain
A Farewell to Arms–Ernest Hemingway
A Lesson Before Dying–Ernest J. Gaines
A Separate Peace–John Knowles
A Tale of Two Cities–Charles Dickens
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland–Lewis Carroll
All the King’s Men–Robert Penn Warren
The Ambassadors–Henry James
An American Tragedy–Theodore Dreiser
Animal Farm–George Orwell
As I Lay Dying–William Faulkner
Atlas Shrugged–Ayn Rand
The Autobiography of Frederick Douglass
Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman–Ernest J. Gaines
The Awakening–Kate Chopin
Beloved–Toni Morrison
Bless Me, Ultima–Anaya Rudolfo
Brave New World–Aldous Huxley
The Bride Price–Buchi Emecheta
Brideshead Revisited–Evelyn Waugh
The Brothers Karamazov–Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Call of the Wild–Jack London
Candide–Voltaire
The Catcher in the Rye–J. D. Salinger
Cat’s Cradle–Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Catch-22–Joseph Heller
The Chosen–Chaim Potok
The Clan of the Cave Bear–Jean Auel
The Color Purple– Alice Walker
The Count of Monte Cristo–Alexander Dumas
Crime and Punishment–Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Deliverance–James Dickey
Democracy–Joan Didion
The Divine Comedy–Dante
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?–Philip K. Dick
Doctor Zhivago–Boris Pasternak
Don Quixote–Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde–Robert Louis Stevenson
Ellen Foster–Kaye Gibbons
Empire of the Sun–J. G. Ballard
The End of the Affair–Graham Greene
Ender’s Game–Orson Scott Card
Ethan Frome–Edith Wharton
Faust–Goethe
Flowers for Algernon–Daniel Keyes
The Fountainhead–Ayn Rand
Frankenstein–Mary Shelley
The Giver–Lois Lowry
Go Tell It on the Mountain–James Baldwin
Gone with the Wind–Margaret Mitchell
The Grapes of Wrath–John Steinbeck
Great Expectations–Charles Dickens
The Great Gatsby–F. Scott Fitzgerald
Grendel–John Gardner
Gulliver’s Travels–Jonathon Swift
Heart of Darkness–Joseph Conrad
The Hobbit–J. R. R. Tolkien
House Made of Dawn–N. Scott Momaday
In Country–Bobbie Ann Mason
The Invisible Man–H. G. Wells
Invisible Man–Ralph Ellison
Ivanhoe–Sir Walter Scott
Jane Eyre–Charlotte Bronte
The Jungle–Upton Sinclair
Kindred–Octavia Butler
The Kitchen God’s Wife–Amy Tan
The Last of the Mohicans–James Fenimore Cooper
The Left Hand of Darkness–Ursula K. Le Guin
Les Miserables–Victor Hugo
Less Than Zero–Bret Easton Ellis
Like Water for Chocolate–Laura Esquivel
Lord of the Flies–William Golding
Love Medicine–Louise Erdrich
Moby Dick–Herman Melville
Moll Flanders–Daniel Defoe
The Naked and the Dead–Norman Mailer
Of Mice and Men–John Steinbeck
The Old Gringo–Carlos Fuentes
The Old Man and the Sea–Ernest Hemingway
On the Road–Jack Kerouac
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest–Ken Kesey
Out of Africa–Isak Dinesen
Pride and Prejudice–Jane Austen
The Prince–Niccolo Machiavelli
The Red Badge of Courage–Stephen Crane
The Remains of the Day–Kazuo Ishiguro
The Return of the Native–Thomas Hardy
Robinson Crusoe–Daniel Defoe
Roots: The Story of an American Family–Alex Haley
The Scarlet Letter–Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Screwtape Letters–C. S. Lewis
Shogun: A Novel of Japan–James du Maresq Clavell
Slaughterhouse Five–Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
The Slave Dancer–Paula Fox
Something Wicked this Way Comes–Ray Bradbury
Song of Solomon–Toni Morrison
The Sound and the Fury–William Faulkner
The Stranger–Albert Camus
Summer of My German Soldier–Bette Greene
The Sun Also Rises–Ernest Hemingway
The Sweet Hereafter–Russell Banks
Ten Little Indians–Agatha Christie
Tess of the d’Urbervilles–Thomas Hardy
Their Eyes Were Watching God–Zora Neale Hurston
Things Fall Apart–Chinua Achebe
The Time Machine–H. G. Wells
To Kill a Mockingbird–Harper Lee
To the Lighthouse–Virginia Woolf
Treason–Orson Scott Card
Treasure Island–Robert Louis Stevenson
V.–Thomas Pynchon
War and Peace–Leo Tolstoy
The Waste Land–T. S. Eliot
Watership Down–Richard Adams
The World According to Garp–John Irving
Wuthering Heights–Emily Bronte

I was going to keep this list down to 100 books, but there are probably closer to 120. I would be interested to see submissions from readers, because I know I left off some that were important (i.e.: everybody’s read them). Scan through and see if your favorites are on the list.

Things I Have Done For 8 Hours

shawn — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 17:37:00 +0000

It is the weekend. After an especially long week of work.
Some weeks just feel longer than others.
Much like some days can feel longer than others.
I have made a list of other things in my life that I have done for 8 hours straight.
1. Slept. Not often, but when I did, I’m pretty sure it was awesome. Although I recently learned that this could kill me.
2. I took an 8 hour flight to Oahu. It was a rather uneventful plane ride, but there was an exotic and tropical locale awaiting me on the other end. That was a good 8 hours.
3. I spent 8 hours learning how to use Macromedia Dreamweaver 8, which is the tool I used to create my website. Thanks, Macromedia. Sorry I didn’t pay you for the program! I promise I will next time.
4. Made love. Okay, I haven’t actually done that for 8 hours straight, but I’ve taken my wife on exciting and romantic weekend getaways. I’m probably at about an 8 hour cumulative total for our 2 years of marriage. Ha!
5. My buddies in college and I took a Road Trip from Provo to L.A. to go to the beach. 5 of us in a Geo Metro for 8 hours each way. It was cramped, but I think we each pitched in about 5 bucks and covered gas.
6. I spent 8 solid hours after Christmas playing CITY OF HEROES. I breaked periodically for food, water, and bathroom, but even those took 2ndary status. By the time my free 1 month had expired, I was a level 14 blaster. And I am not allowed to buy the CITY OF VILLAINS upgrade. Doctor’s orders.
7. I took the GMAT, that took about 8 hours. If I add on my breaks, travel time and an additional 2 hours for emotional distress.
8. It took me about 8 hours to Read the entire 209 pages of Charles Johnson’s Middle Passage. But it probably took me atleast another 8 hours to figure out what that book was really about.

All My Time Should Be "Free"

shawn — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 00:53:00 +0000

I have a friend that Blogs. She says she does it to kill free time.
I replied, “Kill it? I don’t even have free time.”
She said, “Don’t you read books a lot?”
I said, “Yes, but that is during my ‘read book’ time. I certainly don’t have much of this ‘free time’ commodity at all.”
She explained to me, “‘Free time’ is any moment when you are free to do whatever you want.”
And then, of course, I asked, “What kind of people have all this ‘free time’?”
She thought for a moment. Then she responded.
“Bloggers have a lot of free time.”
And that’s when I knew –I wanted to be a blogger–
I, too, wanted to enjoy the luxury of having “free time,” complete with the masochistic freedom to kill it, to slaughter time in all of its gory splendor.